America, Senegal

I love your dress! Where’d you get it?

I love your dress! Which tailor did you use?

I’m kinda craving M&Ms. I think I’ll drag myself to the store.

My mom is sending me M&Ms in a package in a couple weeks… BEGIN THE COUNTDOWN!

It’s 100 degrees today? WHY GOD, WHY?

100 degrees today? Thank God.

I mean, that’s pretty expensive for a cup of coffee, but okay.

WHAT? You’re giving me the white person price. PREPARE TO FIGHT.

I’ve worn this shirt twice. I should probably throw it in the wash.

I can’t really smell this shirt when held at arm’s length. All good!

I can see your butt in that skirt. Scandalous!

I can see your knees in that skirt… you may be a prostitute.

This taxi looks dirty. Gross.

I can’t see the road through the bottom of this taxi! Fancy.

She killed a chicken?!  Awwww, poor thing.

She killed a chicken? Delicious!

Look at the cute fluffy sheep!

Can someone please eat this mangy loud annoying animal already?

Put on your shoes. Your feet are getting dirty.

Put on your shoes. You’re getting parasites.

OMGOMGOMG he proposed!

You’re proposing again? For the fifth time this week, NO.

The mosquitoes here are killer, man.

The mosquitoes here will literally kill you.

There’s a cockroach in my bathroom! Call the exterminators!

If you shine your headlamp at the cockroaches that live inside your pit toilet, they’ll usually stay away from your feet while you’re using it.

Don’t walk alone after dark. You never know what creeps are lurking out there.

Don’t walk alone after dark. You never know what creeps or hyenas are lurking out there.

My puppy ate my shoes.

Rats ate my shoes.

There’s only rice here… where’s the chow mein?

Plain rice again? Lame.

The garbage trucks woke me up soooo early this morning.

I was woken by roosters, then the call to prayer, then donkeys fighting.

She got married at 20? That’s way too young.

She got married at 20? I’m so glad she could wait!

Let’s have a wine and cheese party!

Someone got Cheez Whiz in a package. PARTY TIME.

This rain is making traffic pretty bad.

This rain prevents me from leaving my village.

Ewwww, why do I have a rash? Google it!

You don’t have staph yet? How’d you manage that?

Hitting children is wrong, so wrong, totally morally inexcusable.

…Undecided.  (just kidding!...)